September 3 (Monday)
Fourth Try's the Charm
We were flying to Phuket Monday evening, so once again we checked out, and stashed our bags at the hotel's front desk, and booked a room for our return to Bangkok. Once that was done our first stop was going to be the National Museum. It was located very near to our hotel and it had looked pretty nice the few times we'd walked past it, so it seemed like a good option. Unfortunately, when we got there we found out that it was closed, and not in the "it's totally closed let me drive you to the Lucky Buddha" way we were used to. This time it was closed-closed. That was alright though, because we'd also read about the Royal Barge Museum which was just across the river.
In order to get there we had to hike over a bridge which gave us a nice view up and down the river. We only had a general idea of where the museum was, but before long we found a sign pointing the way. A (accents are tricky, but I'm guessing British) gentleman walking the other way told us the museum was still about a half hour's walk off and was, in fact, closed. Seeing as how he didn't have a tuk-tuk to try to con us into we assumed he was telling the truth and started looking for Plan C.
We'd read about Vimanmek Palace, which, although a little further away, seemed like it was in keeping with the spirit of the National Museum or the Royal Barge Museum, so we hailed a cab. When we told the guy where we wanted to go we hit a bit of a wall. It might be because this was our only time catching a cab a little ways away from a tourist destination, but we definitely ran into a language barrier here. Eventually we were able to convey the district we wanted to get to, so this wasn't anywhere near the "Mary, call the American embassy!" moment we kept joking we'd find ourselves in, but it was notable for being the only time English didn't come through for us.
Since we had a map on hand we were able to keep track of where we were and signal to the driver once we seemed to be about as close to Vimanmek Palace as we were going to get. The palace looked very cool from the outside, but unfortunately that's about all I can say because, as you may be guessing, it too was closed.
Annie, Are You Okay?
Clearly a museum wasn't in the cards, but the Dusit Zoo was right across the street, so we decided: screw it, let's go look at some elephants. Compared to the Night Safari we saw in Chiang Mai this was a much more traditional zoo, but it was still a pretty decent one. We got to see penguins, zebras, giraffes, monkeys, a really fat bear, and more. We also caught a show where it was pretty much us, an elementary school class, and elephants dancing to Smooth Criminal and sinking three-pointers. We stopped at the in-zoo 7-Eleven (given their ubiquity I would have been more surprised if there wasn't a 7-Eleven in the zoo) for some water, checked out the World War II era air raid shelter that's also inside the zoo, and then found a tuk-tuk to get us back to Sukhumvit.
Bangkok Fashionable
Today was the fitting for the suits we'd ordered the previous Tuesday. This time we were able to cut out all of the wandering around and head straight for the shop. They were pretty backed up when we arrived, so we decided to stop for some lunch nearby and by the time we'd finished eating they were ready for us. The suits needed some minor adjustments, but we were in and out relatively quickly and on to our next destination: the Jim Thompson House. I think the tour is well worth a stop because it gets you a little history on the Thai silk trade along with a lesson on traditional Thai architecture and art. If you're in the market for silk goods then the gift shop's probably worth a stop too.
We still had some time before we needed to catch our flight, so we hailed a tuk-tuk and for the first time ran into a guy wanting to take us to his friend's shop. The deal was that he'd get us where we wanted to go directly for 200 baht (~$6.66), but if we let him drop us at his friend's shop with no obligation to buy it would only be 50 baht (~$1.66). We weren't that pressed for time, so we figured why not. After a few minutes of driving we were dropped at a tailor shop. We hemmed and hawed for a little while and eventually managed to make it clear to the guy that he wasn't going to make a sale (I'm pretty sure haggling over ties was what put us over the top) and were able to get back on our way.
Totally Legit DVDs
Our destination was Pantip Plaza, a six-story computer hardware and software mall. Although perhaps most famous for bootleg software and DVDs the mall's space was primarily taken up by an impressive array of stores selling computer hardware, headphones, USB keys and more. Prices weren't as rock-bottom as I'd been hoping, but I did end up buying a USB key because you can't ever really have enough of them. I almost bought some cheap Beats By Dre earbuds, but not only were they clearly knock-offs (not a deal-breaker in and of itself), they sounded terrible. My desire for designer headphones would have to go unsated.
Crazy Taxi
Once we were done with the mall we grabbed a taxi to take us back to the hotel and then on to the airport to catch our flight. When we got into this cab we had no idea the ride we were in for. I don't really know how to do our cab driver justice, so I'm just going to give you a list and let you paint your own mental picture.
- His car's clock was four hours fast
- His check engine light was on
- The only time he wore his seatbelt was when he saw a cop
- Most of his sentences were punctuated with maniacal laughter
- He wanted to know if we liked "boom-boom with Thai ladies"
- He asked what we thought about ladyboys and "the kays" (turned out he meant "gays")
- He offered to take us to visit some prostitutes
- He told us how hard it was to get a US visa
- He asked us how much tickets for Lady Gaga or Madonna concerts cost in the US
- He asked us how much cocaine costs in the US
- He wanted to know when our flight took off because he was sure we could fit in a visit to some prostitutes
- He asked how big a deal it was to drink whiskey and drive in the US, lamented at how strict Thailand had become
- He asked how viable it was to bribe cops in the US, like, for example, if you were caught driving drunk
- He just wanted to make it totally clear that, should we stop for prostitutes, he would absolutely wait for us
Flying the Friendly Skies
Even after we reached the airport and bid a fond farewell to our...let's go with "gregarious" cab driver the interesting social interactions weren't at an end. As I was going through the security line the gentleman checking my passport remarked that we were born in the same year. I gave some polite acknowledgment like, "wow, what a coincidence." When he saw that my ticket was for Phuket he asked if I liked it there. I informed him that I'd never been, but that I was looking forward to it and that I was really liking my visit to Thailand in general. He then asked if I liked him.
It was at this point that I began to suspect that he may be flirting with me. The fact that the other person checking passports rolled her eyes and gave me a "you should probably keep moving" look increased my suspicion. I think it was somewhere around the part where, as I was walking away, he said "call me!" and gave the pinky-and-thumb call-me hand gesture that I became certain. As we headed for our gate I mentally filed this under "Odd, Flattering" as opposed to our cab ride's "Odd, Mildly-Terrifying."
Many Miles To Go
The flight itself was uneventful and before long we were in Phuket. We still needed to get from Phuket Airport on the north end of the island to Patong beach, which is around 20 miles further south. We could hire a cab for about 700 baht (~$23.33) or take a shared minibus for only 150 (~$5.00). The catch with the bus is that it only leaves once it's full. Since we were some of the first people off the plane we figured we wouldn't have to wait long and, happily, it turned out that we were correct. The bus did make an extra stop at some sort of travel office so that the driver could get the address of each of our hotels, but overall it was an easy trip. After checking in to our hotel, (Squareone) we spent a little time figuring out what we were going to do tomorrow and then called it a night.